What defines me?

Somebody said to me today “I hope that swimming the English Channel isn’t what defines you for the next 5-10 years”. It took me a little off guard, but my immediate response was to relate that taking care of my Mom has been what has been huge part of what had defined me for the past several years. I then proceeded to say that I was excited about this enormous goal and that I am going to talk about it a lot. I hope that the motivation and excitement does inspire others. That was the end of the conversation, but the comment had quite a sting and had me thinking for a good while. Some thoughts...

1) That person didn’t know that I have been the primary caretaker for my Mother who has Alzheimer’s and lives alone, and just two days ago a family decision was made to ensure that my Mother gets into assisted living. One of my brother’s and his wife live in California and my niece and her husband live there too. We think that assisted living in California might be the best option, because there are more of them than just me to visit her. My mom has been staying with my brother and sister-in-law all summer, and I have enjoyed some much needed respite. As much as I have been exhausted and frustrated by maintaining the care for my Mom, it really has been a huge part of my life and a big piece of what defines me. I am sad that she won’t be living here and I will miss her greatly. Maybe that’s one reason the comment hurt (unbeknownst to the sharer of the wisdom of what should or shouldn’t define me).
2) I have successfully completed two Ironmans, a slew of marathons including a 50K trail run and a few half Ironmans in the past 3 years. Do these accomplishments define me? I don’t know. I do know that I have spent a great deal of time training for these events and have developed friendships that will last a lifetime. I know that I am physically and mentally stronger, because I have trained for and completed these endurance events. I hope that all of these things are part of what defines me.
3) I have a job that I am totally passionate about. This past June marked my 20th anniversary as a civil servant. I work for a federal agency, Corporation for National and Community Service. My job entails working with a variety of non-profits and public agencies managing National Service Programs. Essentially, I have the good fortune of doing work that makes our country a better place. I hope that my work is part of what defines me.
4) A little over a year ago, I was present when my friend gave birth to her son; this was the most amazing event of my life. This experience is part of what defines me.
5) I am a sister, aunt, girlfriend, friend, co-worker, teammate…..to name a few things. All of these are part of what defines me.
6) I am planning to train and prepare to swim in the English Channel in September, 2012. I aspire to make a successful crossing by swimming from England to France. I desire to be an inspiration to myself and others by publicly sharing this goal. I hope that these are things that define me.

Really, it’s not one thing that can define you. I am more than someone that aspires to swim across the English Channel. I believe that I was asked this question today to remind me of that. Thank you for asking.